Sephiroth

Here's my five: 1. Eli will have his best statistical season this year, posting MVP-type numbers. We're going to hear about Plaxico Burress and his zero Pro Bowl appearances all season long, rest assured, but Eli won't miss a beat with the young guys we've got. In fact, we're going to hear about how in college, Eli had the ability to "make everyone around him better," and we're going to see that on the field. No Shockey, no Tiki, no Plax... this is Eli's team now. 2. Kenny Phillips will have a Pro Bowl type season. If you go back and watch tape from last year, Phillips has great sideline-to-sideline skills, hits like a mother, and always seemed to be in the right position to make plays. Hell, even the pass that Torry Holt caught over him was more luck than anything, as Phillips was in perfect position. He'll be a force in the defensive backfield. 3. By week eight, fans will be disappointed with Chris Canty. Why the Giants paid so much for this guy, I'll never know (he's making more than Justin Tuck... and they're not even in the same ballpark when it comes to skills). Yeah, he's tall with a huge wingspan, but c'mon... five sacks last year playing next to Demarcus Ware? I've been paying a lot of attention to Canty the past month or so on NFL Replay, and he hasn't impressed. On a similar note, Rocky Bernard will totally OUTPLAY his contract and come up huge for us this year... he'll double Canty's sack totals. 4. Kevin Gilbride's dog shit playcalling will lose us at least two games we should win. Sixty MPH winds against the league's worst run D? Time to AIR IT OUT, BABY! That being said, we'll still have a top-ten offense. 5. Sinorice Moss will have 2200 receiving yards and 23 TDs this season, en route to a Pro Bowl season. The Giants will erect a statue outside the new Giants Stadium in his honor, and he will become the first player to be inducted into Canton while still playing football. Treehugger, however, will still find a reason to not pay me my dollar.

I'm glad Justin Tuck got his own channel... I mean, Brett Favre and Michael Vick already have theirs, so why not?

We've got three guys I like better that DON'T have hands of stone. Fuck Will Allen.

That fucking rules.

I'm not convinced about "The Eagles Revamped Offensive Line." Jason Peters showed up fat and outta shape and played like shit last year, but still wanted a new contract. Stacey Andrews... honestly... I had never even heard of the guy before he signed with the Eagles. We're putting McBad on his ass at least another dozen times this year.

Actually, Tavaris Jackson is one of Clinton Portis' weird secret identities.

...one day I'm going to collect all your posts and publish a "Giants Poetry Book."

I'm totally going this year. I went last year and it got rained out.

Eh... I think he's overhyped. Parcells with Belichick = 2 Super Bowl rings Parcells without Bilichick = 0 Super Bowl rings Belichick without Parcells = 3 Super Bowl rings Those victories were on the other Bill, if you ask me. :/

I'd say the chances of Tyree becoming the Giants #1 receiver are about the same as you becoming Sportswrath's #1 best poster.

Why was he suspended?

...this is the argument made by every guy who stays with a girl who's bat-shit crazy... when what he should really do is dump the bitch.

Holy shit that was fucking insane! Was that like a magic trick or was it super-reflexes?

True... but who the fuck is Keyshawn Johnson... o, He of the ONE Super Bowl Ring and Three Pro Bowl Appearances... to give advice to loudmouth receivers? It'd be like Deion Sanders speaking out against end zone celebrations. Gimme a fucking break.

Fuck Keyshawn Johnson.

Is the the leader of the "haters" now? Or did that go to Osi?

Bingo. I'll pass, thanks. We have good team chemistry without the Plaxes, Shockies, and Barbers of the world.

He had ONE play against Brian Westbrook where he was owned... but name one LB in the league that Westbrook DOESN'T run away from. Bingo. Webby took forever to develop, and Ross to this point has looked WAY better than Webster looked at this point in their respective careers. Plus, I think the sophomore slump is real.

What a difference three years makes. Remember before our Super Bowl season, Coughlin was a "dinosaur," who wasn't a "player's coach," and "couldn't relate to and win with today's player" because he was too much of a "taskmaster?" "He's Bill Parcells without the personality!" (Because, you know... Parcells was just SO fucking good with the media). Well, let's take a look at the new coaches in the league. Singletary? Taskmaster. Rex Ryan? Taskmaster. Eric Mangini? Taskmaster. Josh Mc Daniels? Taskmaster. Funny how everyone wants a Coughlin-type these days.

Absolutely, 100% NO FUCKING WAY. We JUST got rid of our last locker room cancer.

I keep trying to look... but the jiggling boobs in your avatar are like a tractor beam for my eyes.

Hixon is going to be a very, very good receiver for us.

Brandon Jacobs is the man.