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Exerpt from Tiki's book


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Excerpt from former Giant Tiki Barber's new book

 

Thursday, September 13th 2007, 4:00 AM

 

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From the book "Tiki: My Life in the Game and Beyond" by Tiki Barber, co-authored by Gil Reavill, published by Simon Spotlight Entertainment, an imprint of Simon & Schuster.

 

When I hear the sound of offensive lineman Richie Seubert throwing up, I know it's game time.

 

"We must be ready to go," I say to myself, as Seubert ralphs into a garbage can in the bathroom.

 

Regular as clockwork, Richie can be depended on to lose his cookies just before we head out onto the field. As game-day rituals go, it's not that rare - Richie's fellow guard Chris Snee and my man Plaxico Burress have been known to get green around the gills too - but throwing up before kickoff illustrates the intensity of game day.

 

Professional football is an exercise in intensity, and one way to handle intensity is to devise rituals, to be better able to channel stress.

 

I've got my own pregame ritual, not quite as dramatic as Richie's. I fall asleep.

 

Well, not always. But surprisingly often. As the clock ticks down to kickoff, I start to get anxious. I'm excited to go get into it, but I'm nervous at the same time. Whenever I get that way, excited-nervous, I become sleepy. Often I go back into the equipment room, because nobody really comes in there before games.

 

I sit and just chill. Try to clear my mind of anything and everything that has been in my head. Nervousness makes my stomach feel all-encompassing, as though it's taking over my body. I relax and - sometimes, not always - I fall asleep.

 

The next thing I know, I hear an assistant coach or someone shouting out in the hall.

 

"All right, all right - it's time to get out there and get it done!"

 

I snap back awake. I feel so refreshed and ready that it's unbelievable.

 

I wouldn't recommend this particular ritual. But that's the point. Most game-day rituals are strictly idiosyncratic and personal. Somebody else might pace and listen to hip hop on earphones, full volume. I lie down with my feet up.

 

Here's game day for me. The general rule is to arrive at the stadium two hours early. Entering the parking lot, seeing the stadium, coming into the locker room: that's when your nerves start to come up a little. You're not exactly panting in anxiety, but you start thinking about how the game's going to be. You start visualizing what is about to happen.

 

When guard Ron Stone was a Giant, he used to fix me a pregame meal. Ron has six kids, so he knows how to feed a crowd. After one of his awesome waffles, I'd have some pasta, too, for dessert. Lots of carbs for the pregame meal.

 

That long before kickoff, the stadium is still pretty much empty. It has a deserted, ghost-town feel to it. Some of the guys take laps around the field. I don't do any of that. I sit in front of my locker, take off my suit, strip down to shorts and a T-shirt, and maybe listen to music.

 

The uniform of a professional football player is the biggest pain in the ass you could ever imagine. That's especially true for running backs like me, since defenders are forever grabbing, tugging and clutching at us. Because of that, my uniform must be as tight and sleek as possible.

 

I know a lot of people (women, mostly) talk about the vanity of the skintight NFL uniform, but for me it's strictly utility.

 

My waist is 32 inches, but the uniform pants I wear are 30 short. A 12-year-old could probably wear these pants and feel comfortable in them. The material stretches, so they're not oppressively tight, but there's nothing for a linebacker to grab onto, either.

 

You know the line: If you like to eat sausage you probably shouldn't watch it being made. Well, if you like football, you probably shouldn't watch a pro footballer stuff himself into his uniform, either. Unless you're looking for a few laughs.

 

The problem is that because the jersey is so tight across the chest, the fabric tends to squeeze your shoulder pads together like an accordion.

 

With the pads closed, I've got a very small hole to cram myself into. I have to fit my head and my arms through a space about the size of a grapefruit.

 

I stand on one side, pulling and stretching my jersey. It's hard. I have to muscle myself into it. Then I do it again on the other side, pull it up, hold it there, put one arm in, put the other arm in, grab it, get snagged on both elbows, jam my head in the hole.

 

It's excruciating. I feel like a contortionist. The only thing that alleviates the embarrassment is that there are 45 guys in the immediate vicinity going through the same spastic dance.

 

But then, once I'm in, I'm in. It's like magic. The uniform conforms to you like a second skin. The total weight of jersey, pants, pads, shoes and helmet is around 8 pounds. But somehow, the whole package makes you feel lighter, not heavier.

 

In fact, you start to feel ... invincible.

 

© 2007 by Tiki Barber. Printed by permission.

 

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Dang, I got beat to it. :rolleyes:

 

I was gonna try and say I wonder how everyone here was gonna make this seem bad, due to all the hate for Tiki.

 

That wasnt bad writing, shit talking or anything. That excerpt was nothing more than a nice insight into what they go through pregame.

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Dang, I got beat to it. :rolleyes:

 

I was gonna try and say I wonder how everyone here was gonna make this seem bad, due to all the hate for Tiki.

 

That wasnt bad writing, shit talking or anything. That excerpt was nothing more than a nice insight into what they go through pregame.

 

 

Holy Shit! Could you be jammed any farther up Tiki's ass???

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Dang, I got beat to it. :rolleyes:

 

I was gonna try and say I wonder how everyone here was gonna make this seem bad, due to all the hate for Tiki.

 

That wasnt bad writing, shit talking or anything. That excerpt was nothing more than a nice insight into what they go through pregame.

 

Seriously? You think this is good writing?

 

Well, not always. But surprisingly often. As the clock ticks down to kickoff, I start to get anxious. I'm excited to go get into it, but I'm nervous at the same time. Whenever I get that way, excited-nervous, I become sleepy. Often I go back into the equipment room, because nobody really comes in there before games.

 

I sit and just chill. Try to clear my mind of anything and everything that has been in my head. Nervousness makes my stomach feel all-encompassing, as though it's taking over my body. I relax and - sometimes, not always - I fall asleep.

 

Yeah it would be great for a high school student, but this is the man's own book. Did anyone help him write it?

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I can't wait for this awesome book to come out, it's going to be an awesome read, written by an awesome player about his awesome career, and his awesomely brave decision to leave football due to the evil coach Coughlin. I can overlook the awesomely bad writing.

 

2 thumbs for Tiki's book. :TU::TU:

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Holy Shit! Could you be jammed any farther up Tiki's ass???

 

I sure miss the jerseygiantfan I knew from back on the nazi board. She wouldnt be a follower, she would think for herself. I think you should cease and desist from using her sign on name. :rolleyes:

 

Youre not thinking for yourself, cause if you were, you'd see that in that bit of the book you posted, Tiki only talked about what they go thru pregame. Not shit talking, no throwing anyone under the bus. Just pregame rituals. Then, not surprisingly, someone STILL has something negative to say. So I comment on that, and that makes me "so far up his ass???"

 

So, my point is, just because the popular thing to do right now is bash Tiki, doesnt mean you have to.

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I sure miss the jerseygiantfan I knew from back on the nazi board. She wouldnt be a follower, she would think for herself. I think you should cease and desist from using her sign on name. :rolleyes:

 

Youre not thinking for yourself, cause if you were, you'd see that in that bit of the book you posted, Tiki only talked about what they go thru pregame. Not shit talking, no throwing anyone under the bus. Just pregame rituals. Then, not surprisingly, someone STILL has something negative to say. So I comment on that, and that makes me "so far up his ass???"

 

So, my point is, just because the popular thing to do right now is bash Tiki, doesnt mean you have to.

 

The problem, blue, is that you have blinders on. My negative comments have nothing to do with Tiki vs. Eli or Tiki vs. Coughlin or Tiki's mouth or even the content of the writing. My comment was about how bad the writing is. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

 

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I sure miss the jerseygiantfan I knew from back on the nazi board. She wouldnt be a follower, she would think for herself. I think you should cease and desist from using her sign on name. :rolleyes:

 

Youre not thinking for yourself, cause if you were, you'd see that in that bit of the book you posted, Tiki only talked about what they go thru pregame. Not shit talking, no throwing anyone under the bus. Just pregame rituals. Then, not surprisingly, someone STILL has something negative to say. So I comment on that, and that makes me "so far up his ass???"

 

So, my point is, just because the popular thing to do right now is bash Tiki, doesnt mean you have to.

 

Did anyone say there was anything wrong with this obviously watered down excerpt, designed by the publishers to wet your pallet, but give none of the juicy details away?

 

You are defending something that no one is bashing.

 

I am sure TO's book where he was misquoted just like your precious Tiki said he was had some nice fluff in it too.

 

There is nothing wrong with that part of the book and quite frankly if it were not for the fact we know he has a lot more in it than that nonsense would make me fall asleep reading it.

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When I hear the sound of offensive lineman Richie Seubert throwing up, I know it's game time.

 

"We must be ready to go," I say to myself, as Seubert ralphs into a garbage can in the bathroom.

 

Regular as clockwork, Richie can be depended on to lose his cookies just before we head out onto the field. As game-day rituals go, it's not that rare - Richie's fellow guard Chris Snee and my man Plaxico Burress have been known to get green around the gills too - but throwing up before kickoff illustrates the intensity of game day.

 

Holy shit! Snee, Seubert and Burress are bolimic!?! No wonder this team has hydration problems!!!

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The problem, blue, is that you have blinders on. My negative comments have nothing to do with Tiki vs. Eli or Tiki vs. Coughlin or Tiki's mouth or even the content of the writing. My comment was about how bad the writing is. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

 

There was nothing to bash, yet you still had a negative comment. Obvious bad writing would be something like this..." I played real hard in a game, sometimes I was throwing up, or, I mean sometimes it was friends who were...." etc.

 

It was nothing like that. Ask 100 non Giant fans how that writing was and I bet the %'s are in favor of it being good. But because the trend is to bash Tiki, everyone here follows suit. It wasnt that bad of writing, it offered some interesting insight on how they are pregame. It is not a case of having blinders on as you say, its being real. Everyone here thinks Tiki was talking shit about his teammates and coach. If Strahan, Shockey and Toomer were having dinner with Tiki, and all along Tiki acted like thier friends, and then after dinner, he took Amani and Shock to the side and said, "listen, I know I act like I like Mike, but he is a selfish prick, dont tell him I said that." THAT, would be talking shit about his teammtes.( I know it was about Eli, Im using this as an example.) He never did that. He was asked, he ansewered honestly. As far as him always thinking of himself and his post TV career, you can actually fault a guy for that??? :huh: Thats ridiculous. Tiki thinks about himself first? Isnt that what we all do?

 

 

Now, I know you ONLY commented on the writing. But can you tell me, honestly, that not liking Tiki didnt have anything to do with that comment?

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You think the writing was bad in that book, look what happens when Tiki and Ronde get together............

 

51DPR2DTMVL._SS500_.jpg

 

Here's an exerpt from this book:

 

 

TIKI: RONDE, GIVES ME DA BALL.

 

RONDE: FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER

 

TIKI: GIVE IT UP BIOTCH, OR I'M TELLING MOM'S BOUT YOUR ASS.

 

RONDE: YOU'RE MOM'S A DYKE!

 

TIKI: SHE'S YOUR MOM TOO FUCKHEAD.

 

 

RONDE: I KNOW THAT ASSHOLE, SHE'S STILL A DYKE. SHE HAD SOME BITCH OVER LAST NIGHT.

 

 

Then a new kid entered the playground (cos that's where you get your kicks at)

 

SHAUN ALEXANDER: HEY YOU TWO, I THINK I'M LIKE YOUR TWIN.

 

(Tiki and Ronde look at each in puzzlement).

 

To be continued...............perhaps.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So you see, the literary magic continues.

 

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You think the writing was bad in that book, look what happens when Tiki and Ronde get together............

 

51DPR2DTMVL._SS500_.jpg

 

Here's an exerpt from this book:

TIKI: RONDE, GIVES ME DA BALL.

 

RONDE: FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER

 

TIKI: GIVE IT UP BIOTCH, OR I'M TELLING MOM'S BOUT YOUR ASS.

 

RONDE: YOU'RE MOM'S A DYKE!

 

TIKI: SHE'S YOUR MOM TOO FUCKHEAD.

RONDE: I KNOW THAT ASSHOLE, SHE'S STILL A DYKE. SHE HAD SOME BITCH OVER LAST NIGHT.

Then a new kid entered the playground (cos that's where you get your kicks at)

 

SHAUN ALEXANDER: HEY YOU TWO, I THINK I'M LIKE YOUR TWIN.

 

(Tiki and Ronde look at each in puzzlement).

 

To be continued...............perhaps.

So you see, the literary magic continues.

 

 

LOL!! You crack me up booyah

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There was nothing to bash, yet you still had a negative comment. Obvious bad writing would be something like this..." I played real hard in a game, sometimes I was throwing up, or, I mean sometimes it was friends who were...." etc.

 

It was nothing like that. Ask 100 non Giant fans how that writing was and I bet the %'s are in favor of it being good. But because the trend is to bash Tiki, everyone here follows suit. It wasnt that bad of writing, it offered some interesting insight on how they are pregame. It is not a case of having blinders on as you say, its being real. Everyone here thinks Tiki was talking shit about his teammates and coach. If Strahan, Shockey and Toomer were having dinner with Tiki, and all along Tiki acted like thier friends, and then after dinner, he took Amani and Shock to the side and said, "listen, I know I act like I like Mike, but he is a selfish prick, dont tell him I said that." THAT, would be talking shit about his teammtes.( I know it was about Eli, Im using this as an example.) He never did that. He was asked, he ansewered honestly. As far as him always thinking of himself and his post TV career, you can actually fault a guy for that??? :huh: Thats ridiculous. Tiki thinks about himself first? Isnt that what we all do?

Now, I know you ONLY commented on the writing. But can you tell me, honestly, that not liking Tiki didnt have anything to do with that comment?

 

Hey....wait a minute......are you Tiki Barber himself? I've never seen someone defend another person so completely. Possibly a family member?

 

Anyway, I don't think it was that bad. It seems like he tries to force larger words in when they are not needed, but I do enjoy the insight of a locker room pre-game.

 

As far as Tiki's post Giants career, I don't think someone can defend how he has basicly focused most of his comments on his former team so far. Most other former players that make the transition into the media focus on the current games and current season issues, including the other teams in the league.

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There was nothing to bash, yet you still had a negative comment. Obvious bad writing would be something like this..." I played real hard in a game, sometimes I was throwing up, or, I mean sometimes it was friends who were...." etc.

 

It was nothing like that. Ask 100 non Giant fans how that writing was and I bet the %'s are in favor of it being good. But because the trend is to bash Tiki, everyone here follows suit. It wasnt that bad of writing, it offered some interesting insight on how they are pregame. It is not a case of having blinders on as you say, its being real. Everyone here thinks Tiki was talking shit about his teammates and coach. If Strahan, Shockey and Toomer were having dinner with Tiki, and all along Tiki acted like thier friends, and then after dinner, he took Amani and Shock to the side and said, "listen, I know I act like I like Mike, but he is a selfish prick, dont tell him I said that." THAT, would be talking shit about his teammtes.( I know it was about Eli, Im using this as an example.) He never did that. He was asked, he ansewered honestly. As far as him always thinking of himself and his post TV career, you can actually fault a guy for that??? :huh: Thats ridiculous. Tiki thinks about himself first? Isnt that what we all do?

Now, I know you ONLY commented on the writing. But can you tell me, honestly, that not liking Tiki didnt have anything to do with that comment?

 

Jesus dude, get off the soapbox. I love Tiki Barber. He'll always be my favorite Giant's RB. I'll never stop wearing his jersey, and I'll always defend him as a player.

 

My comments had nothing to do with anything but the writing. Almost everyone who chimed in about it agrees with that opinion. It's not good. If you disagree, fine, but stop trying to project that I'm being negative for the sake of being negative. That's ridiculous.

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Hey....wait a minute......are you Tiki Barber himself? I've never seen someone defend another person so completely. Possibly a family member?

 

Anyway, I don't think it was that bad. It seems like he tries to force larger words in when they are not needed, but I do enjoy the insight of a locker room pre-game.

 

As far as Tiki's post Giants career, I don't think someone can defend how he has basicly focused most of his comments on his former team so far. Most other former players that make the transition into the media focus on the current games and current season issues, including the other teams in the league.

 

LOL...I wish, or I wish I had his bank account.

 

I can see the larger words here and there, but I agree with you, not too bad and nice Insight. The reason I defend him so much, is because there really is no reason to bash him to the extent everyone here does. And I say that everyone is overreacting, specifically for the reason you just stated. He DOES focus on other teams, which is why I cant understand why everyone thinks he ONLY comments on the Giants. That is what people here want to think, but reality is, he comments on other teams as well. How can he be a Radio and TV show personality, and it be any other way? Ive heard him comment on other teams, havent you?

 

 

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Jesus dude, get off the soapbox. I love Tiki Barber. He'll always be my favorite Giant's RB. I'll never stop wearing his jersey, and I'll always defend him as a player.

 

My comments had nothing to do with anything but the writing. Almost everyone who chimed in about it agrees with that opinion. It's not good. If you disagree, fine, but stop trying to project that I'm being negative for the sake of being negative. That's ridiculous.

 

Oh, I apologize then. Its nice to hear that someone still loves Tiki, cause I thought I was the only one. Even though this wasnt about anything but the writing, I just assume that every comment here is fueld by the overabundance of hate for the man.

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I don't recall anyone on this site getting a Pulitzer and I don't mind his writing. If you're looking for the narrative quality of Hemingway or the facility of Chaucer, then you've barked up the wrong tree.

 

Never the less, I think we'll all be interested in the details he provides that don't apply to his uniform.

 

I read Phil Simms book and it wasn't exactly well written either; pile in him if you dare.

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If you think this is bad, read LT's book, or Barkley's first book.

 

Seriously guys, many of these guys have ghost writers, however there's just so much writing they can do. Don't you think for one second that if the book was written with perfect diction, that people would start talking about "well I've heard Tiki talk and he doesn't speak this well". You can't win.

 

Imagine if LT didn't have Serby writing his book, it would basically go like this............SHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTMOTHERFUCKERDAMNBITCHFUCKALLYALLANDPLAYLIKE

CRAZEDDOG.

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I sure miss the jerseygiantfan I knew from back on the nazi board. She wouldnt be a follower, she would think for herself. I think you should cease and desist from using her sign on name. :rolleyes:

 

Youre not thinking for yourself, cause if you were, you'd see that in that bit of the book you posted, Tiki only talked about what they go thru pregame. Not shit talking, no throwing anyone under the bus. Just pregame rituals. Then, not surprisingly, someone STILL has something negative to say. So I comment on that, and that makes me "so far up his ass???"

 

So, my point is, just because the popular thing to do right now is bash Tiki, doesnt mean you have to.

 

 

I miss the JGF who had long hair and who liked to post photos of her boobage. I'm not found of this new version, the one fighting a brave fight with a tumor in her head............it's very offputting. :TD:

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I sure miss the jerseygiantfan I knew from back on the nazi board. She wouldnt be a follower, she would think for herself. I think you should cease and desist from using her sign on name. :rolleyes:

 

Youre not thinking for yourself, cause if you were, you'd see that in that bit of the book you posted, Tiki only talked about what they go thru pregame. Not shit talking, no throwing anyone under the bus. Just pregame rituals. Then, not surprisingly, someone STILL has something negative to say. So I comment on that, and that makes me "so far up his ass???"

 

So, my point is, just because the popular thing to do right now is bash Tiki, doesnt mean you have to.

 

 

Oh Blue...I'm not bashing Tiki...I am just commenting about the fact that as soon as someone mentions Tiki's name you are all "I love Tiki" 'Tiki is a good man" Tiki didn't mean it" and so on...I'm not bashing anybody I was just making note of your homo love for Tiki.........You know he's married, right? :P

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