Reporter: "Coach, why do you think your team lost today?"
Coughlin: "Well, it`s simple, I didn`t call on the crowd enough today and I didn`t run out to mid-field like a retard arguing a penalty"
Reporter: "Uh, coach, what does that have to do with anything?"
Coughlin: "Oh, nothing, John Huffnagel has a pretty sweet heroin connection in Irivington, New Jersey, I tried some with him before he and I game planned for the Eagles"