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SportsWrath

Sadly, we are doomed on Sunday...


Allstarjim
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If thou are an unbeliever, then thou will surely blow this off. The rest of thine, heed my words. Let the record show, last Sunday evening, a heavy underdog Giants team beat the Cowboys, at home. A team that had already beaten them twice this season. This despite having several key injuries and the Cowboys being relatively healthy. Indeed, even Terry Glenn was back at full strength. To what or to WHOM may we attribute this magnificent upset?

 

I give thou, Jerry Jones, Terrell Owens, and Patrick Crayton. Jerry Jones, for his arrogant hubris in giving his players 2 NFC championship tickets each before said 'Boys had earned them. Verily I say unto thine, that this angered the football gods. And henceforth, empowered the Giants with the powers to smite them upon their home turf. Yea, let it be known that T.O.'s "popcorn ready" chutzpah and Crayton's arrogance further angered the football gods, and yea, they turned their backs upon them. Their fate had been sealed even before the game had begun.

 

Surely, the Giants were the darlings of the gods, yea? But ney, Michael Strahan went before thy televisions and rubbed the victory in to T.O. and Crayton. The gods asketh for humility in victory. Verily I say unto thou, the gods are now angry at thine Giants. Lest thou face defeat on Sunday, thou must beseech thine football gods, and appease them with incense and prayers. Already, the signs art all around thee. The gods have sent in an artic front so that thine own Eli Manning might stumble. Indeed, the gods hero, Brett Favre, seemingly ageless, has been blessed by the gods with rejuvenation upon his right arm.

 

I call upon thee, Michael Strahan, to REPENT BEFORE THE FOOTBALL GODS BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE. And to the Giants fans, to undo thine arrogance upon those suffering Cowboys, and wish them well in their long offseason.

 

Amen.

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