Heathcliff

I've never been on these boards at 3:30AM - nice try. I'm sure you think the four posts per day I make are life consuming too, no?

Witty...

A "pompous facade" - not one for making sense are you?

I'm none of the things you just called me. You just feel that way because I'm far more intelligent and articulate than you and, arguably, all members of this message board. Jealousy is one thing, but now that it takes the form of insults, I can only suggest you try to make yourself smarter - for your sake, poor guy.

Look at this new photo I found:

You might want to talk about "unlearned" people after you learn how to spell, retard.

Steve McNair's brother isn't a part of the Giants; he sounds like he drank paint thinner.

More gay allusions? Could you be anymore transparent?

You don't think any of our first round picks have contributed to success? Whoa! That's so interestingly controversial. Do go on.

Jerry Reese is a likely replacement, I think.

You guys had your internet friendship group back in 2000?

Another validation to my point: only fourteen year olds call people gay.

I got banned for starting a thread explaining how there's nothing good about BlueSunday except that he stands as a perfect example of how not to be a person. It was a detailed, well-supported analysis. I agree, that the standards at giants.com are unrealistic.

The Fab Four remind me of a bunch of 14 year old goth kids; miserable about their lives, for one reason or another, and desperately trying to justify it through a cynical act. They're under the illusion that their "pain" enables them to mould a personality that is unique and superior. I'm sure they'll grow out of it eventually - you rarely see any goths over the age of 17.

What is? You think a fairly lame description based on nothing is worth your acclaim? Whoa! - I hate to see how those standards have impacted the rest of your life.

Strange how you think a book based on heterosexual romance is gay. Is there something bothering you about yourself?

Not a big reader, are you? Not surprising.

Not only are you wrong on all accounts, all your insults seem to be based on nothing, which is pathetic.

That's very interesting. Do go on.

Anything you post is inherently contradicted by this thread. [Flexes Biceps] [Reveals Intimidatingly Large Erection]

That's so weak, I actually hope it's an allusion to something else - for your sake.

Of course not. That would be stupid.

I came across a little self-help manual composed by the internet's most frequent customers. I thought some of you would find this excerpt interesting: Notice how "coma" is misspelled so the sentence doesn't make sense? It's okay, the basic idea is there; sense is overrated. Posting images that you don’t fully understand is also a good way depart from sense. Observe: *** Sarcasm can be an effective tool to appear interesting. (Can be) Just try to steer clear of sounding lame when you use it, or else you simply come across as a train wreck making people cringe with your bland sense of humor: Over-dramatizing events may also evoke lameness: “This is madness !!!!” *** Obnoxious arguments will irritate people, but it’s a small price to pay to grab attention. Think of it this way: getting attention is the same as being interesting. To amplify interest, simply repeat the same argument over and over amidst your several usernames every day. It’s nearly impossible to start threads along the lines of “Shockey/Plaxico Problem !!” without sounding tiresome. Don’t give up – without your obnoxious, redundant rants, you may never become interesting. *** Pretending to be battle-hardened and bitter is pivotal to determining a negative (and hence, interesting) personality. Achieving it is generally a byproduct of cynicism and obnoxiousness, but making historical pop-culture references can add some much-needed flavor to your personality: This creates the illusion that you’re somehow knowledgeable about past themes and issues – despite the fact that you’re unable to recognize an obvious black hand reference when posting an image. This technique can be adequately backed-up by some dark avatars to complement your new look !! – *** So there you have it: the comprehensive manual for making yourself more interesting through the use of a message board. Just make sure no other board members find out about your pathetic agenda; it’s just the sort of thing that would evoke laughs at your expense, or pity.

I don't.

Nice touch.