fishgutmartyr Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 2-pager, and I'm not sure what to make of it. I APOLOGIZE THE DESIRE TO WIN DRIVES ME CRAZY JEREMY SHOCKEYSeptember 29, 2006 -- Every Friday, lightning-rod Giants tight end Jeremy Shockey gives Post readers his insights, even on this bye week, following the upsetting loss to the Seahawks: Immediately after Sunday's loss in Seattle, I said we got outplayed and outcoached. I shouldn't have said it, but let me ask you: Have you ever lost your temper and out of frustration said something you didn't want to say and wish you could take back? Well, that's what happened. The truth is, I am a competitor that can't stand losing. It drives me over the edge. I just can't accept mediocrity and that kind of performance on Sunday hurt more than any hit, injection or surgery I ever had. It should be getting easier for me, but it's only getting tougher. The next day I did what I could to right the situation and expressed regret for saying what I said. Everyone on this team knows I have remorse over what happened. I faced the media and held myself accountable for my actions. And yet I was criticized for Monday's sincere response because I didn't apologize publicly to the media. I didn't do it then because it didn't seem necessary. I already apologized to Coach Coughlin and everyone else on the team who talked to me about it. I said on Monday that I was a team player and I meant it. To prove it, I apologize right now for what I said and hope this apology puts my remarks in the past where they belong. I feel bad about this because I didn't mean to cause any problems for my coaching staff or teammates. It was not intended to be a personal assault on any players or coaches. I have tremendous respect for Coach Coughlin and consider Mike Pope, my position coach, to be like family to me. I have loyalty toward them and this organization, especially the guy who believed in me and drafted me, GM Ernie Accorsi. Believe me, I miss Wellington "The Duke" Mara and Bob Tisch. The game feels a bit empty to me without them. I like the Giant fans who support us. I am happy here. I believe this team has what it takes to go all the way this season. It's because I want us to win so badly that I hate losing. After watching that Seahawk game fall apart before my eyes, I was frustrated that I could not do more to turn things around. I know I should put things in perspective and remember that this is only a game and this is just a job, but I can't. I love playing football, I love winning, I love my teammates and I would love nothing more than to win the Super Bowl this year. Everything that I do all day, every day, is about being the best player I can be to help this team win. Maybe I am too much of a competitor, but that is all I know. I don't want to be a gracious loser. I don't want to accept being beaten. I can't and I won't - not ever! That desire to win drives me crazy sometimes, and as hard as I try to conduct myself as a professional, the football player in me comes out and doesn't know when to stop. I live in a great house, my investment portfolio is so strong that I am already set for life, I love my family and it's fun going out in the New York nightlife. I should be the happiest guy in the world, but I'm not. I wear great suits, drive nice cars and live a sophisticated lifestyle off the field, but hard as I try, I'm still me. A friend of mine once jokingly told me, "You can take the man away from the country, but you can't take the country away form the man." What it comes down to is I am still that same fiery Oklahoma country boy that survived some serious adventures growing up. As hard as I try, I am never going to be perfectly politically correct. I have no intentions of offending anyone and want everyone to enjoy watching us play. I just want to compete, win and celebrate a Super Bowl victory with our fans. I want that so badly that I am in pain when we lose. Heading into the bye week 1-2 after a disappointing loss was agonizing. I said last week in this column that the key was getting off to a good start. I was right. We got off to a horrible start and couldn't catch up. I was furious at losing and it got the best of me. All I can do is apologize, try harder not to make the same mistake again, and keep working to help this team get off to a fast start in order to win. Make no mistake, I am a team player. I get frustrated when we don't win and have a hard time keeping my temper in check. But don't ask me to take losing well. That ain't gonna happen. I don't plan on being a gracious loser. As told to Jason Rosenhaus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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