Open Letter From Giants to Jets

[Gman329]

Just came across this. Hilarious!

 

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703921204576005922365617378.html

 

 

A Friendly Note From the Giants

• 
  By JASON GAY

Hey neighbor, Brilliantly entertaining stuff Monday night. Seriously. We laughed, we cried, we laughed some more. We haven't enjoyed a Patriots game that much since we thumped their undefeated silver capri pants down in Arizona for the Super Bowl.

 

How's the hangover? Trust us, the second morning after a soul-crushing football blowout is the worst. Drink lots of tomato juice, and put some cucumber slices on your ears. Or your eyes. Can't remember.

 

Try to forget what happened. Watch some junky TV. Maybe Rachael Ray, or that movie in which Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep play rich divorcees having an affair in the Williams-Sonoma catalogue.

 

Meanwhile, turn off the sports radio. You don't want to hear what they're saying. Yeow.

 

You can cry to us. We share a stadium; we're practically family! You hurt, we hurt. OK, that's not totally true. You hurt, we get some delightful Schadenfraude.

 

Still, we want to help. For example: the next time you have a kid like Danny Woodhead kicking around your roster, and you feel like dumping him, give your old neighbor a phone call—instead of letting him slip into Bill Belichick's craggy paws. And also: can you let Mark Sanchez know the guys in the blue shirts are NOT his receivers?

 

Okay that's enough. We're being obnoxious here. This is very un-Giant-like. We're supposed to be the classy ones, with the tradition and fancy corporate fans.

 

But you have to understand: we've been hidden in your unsavory green shadow all season long. We're 8-4 and tied atop the NFC East—and we feel like Beau Bridges, or the New Jersey Devils.

 

It made us insecure. We wondered if something was wrong with us. We told our head coach, Tom Coughlin, to put on weight and start swearing like Joe Pesci. We tried to get a reality show. Nobody wanted our reality show. ESPN2 passed. C-SPAN2 passed.

 

 

It got infuriating. We're the ones with the pedigree. We've won Super Bowls—plural. We have long-forgotten players who have more rings than your franchise. We've been around for 86 years, and we might smell like hard candy and wool mittens, we know a few things. So listen:

 

1. STOP THE TALKING. You guys are Charlie Rose gabby. Enough with the bulletin board jibber-jabber; it only irritates your opponent and makes you look foolish. This isn't the WWE or a Tuesday night orthodontists' pick-up basketball league. Zip it.

 

2. GET SERIOUS. Look at our coach. Does he look like he's about to put on a wig at a press conference? He hasn't laughed since 1979, when he accidentally caught 10 minutes of "The Honeymooners" on a hotel TV. He makes Mike Shanahan look like Jerry Lewis.

 

3. STOP RAIDING OUR FRIDGE. You think we don't notice when six pounds of pretzel M&Ms go missing? This is a shared facility, but not a buffet. Get your own grub. And stop exploding frozen burritos in the microwave.

 

4. FOCUS ON 2014: That's when our stadium will host a Roger Goodell's Totally Freezing Super Bowl Jamfest. It would be nice if you guys made it. And lost to us, 45-3.

 

5. WHEN IN DOUBT, PLAY THE REDSKINS. Seriously, that stuff works. It really does.

 

Listen guys, we've bought real estate together; we have a mortgage; we're hitched. Let's not end up in bachelor special one-bedrooms near the airport.

 

See you in the hallway,

 

The Giants

 

PS: Please tell Fireman Ed we're not sending him an Eli Manning jersey.

 

 

[Lughead]

Just came across this. Hilarious!

 

http://online.wsj.co...2365617378.html

 

 

A Friendly Note From the Giants

• 
  By JASON GAY

Hey neighbor, Brilliantly entertaining stuff Monday night. Seriously. We laughed, we cried, we laughed some more. We haven't enjoyed a Patriots game that much since we thumped their undefeated silver capri pants down in Arizona for the Super Bowl.

 

How's the hangover? Trust us, the second morning after a soul-crushing football blowout is the worst. Drink lots of tomato juice, and put some cucumber slices on your ears. Or your eyes. Can't remember.

 

Try to forget what happened. Watch some junky TV. Maybe Rachael Ray, or that movie in which Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep play rich divorcees having an affair in the Williams-Sonoma catalogue.

 

Meanwhile, turn off the sports radio. You don't want to hear what they're saying. Yeow.

 

You can cry to us. We share a stadium; we're practically family! You hurt, we hurt. OK, that's not totally true. You hurt, we get some delightful Schadenfraude.

 

Still, we want to help. For example: the next time you have a kid like Danny Woodhead kicking around your roster, and you feel like dumping him, give your old neighbor a phone call—instead of letting him slip into Bill Belichick's craggy paws. And also: can you let Mark Sanchez know the guys in the blue shirts are NOT his receivers?

 

Okay that's enough. We're being obnoxious here. This is very un-Giant-like. We're supposed to be the classy ones, with the tradition and fancy corporate fans.

 

But you have to understand: we've been hidden in your unsavory green shadow all season long. We're 8-4 and tied atop the NFC East—and we feel like Beau Bridges, or the New Jersey Devils.

 

It made us insecure. We wondered if something was wrong with us. We told our head coach, Tom Coughlin, to put on weight and start swearing like Joe Pesci. We tried to get a reality show. Nobody wanted our reality show. ESPN2 passed. C-SPAN2 passed.

 

 

It got infuriating. We're the ones with the pedigree. We've won Super Bowls—plural. We have long-forgotten players who have more rings than your franchise. We've been around for 86 years, and we might smell like hard candy and wool mittens, we know a few things. So listen:

 

1. STOP THE TALKING. You guys are Charlie Rose gabby. Enough with the bulletin board jibber-jabber; it only irritates your opponent and makes you look foolish. This isn't the WWE or a Tuesday night orthodontists' pick-up basketball league. Zip it.

 

2. GET SERIOUS. Look at our coach. Does he look like he's about to put on a wig at a press conference? He hasn't laughed since 1979, when he accidentally caught 10 minutes of "The Honeymooners" on a hotel TV. He makes Mike Shanahan look like Jerry Lewis.

 

3. STOP RAIDING OUR FRIDGE. You think we don't notice when six pounds of pretzel M&Ms go missing? This is a shared facility, but not a buffet. Get your own grub. And stop exploding frozen burritos in the microwave.

 

4. FOCUS ON 2014: That's when our stadium will host a Roger Goodell's Totally Freezing Super Bowl Jamfest. It would be nice if you guys made it. And lost to us, 45-3.

5. WHEN IN DOUBT, PLAY THE REDSKINS. Seriously, that stuff works. It really does.

 

Listen guys, we've bought real estate together; we have a mortgage; we're hitched. Let's not end up in bachelor special one-bedrooms near the airport.

 

See you in the hallway,

 

The Giants

PS: Please tell Fireman Ed we're not sending him an Eli Manning jersey.

 

 

 

[JMFP]

That was terrific.

[TaylorBanksCarsonVanPelt]

LOL...wonder if Lubz heard Carton this morning on the FAN talk about the Giants organization and call us insecure and envious. If I was not in a hurry to get to my job I would have phoned in and said...."wow a whole lot of envy here....lets see three SB Championships to your one...numerous NFL Titles to your none....one of the linchpin teams to the NFL....to your well Joe Broken Down Namath and Sonny Werblin he of the destruction of the Old Penn Station and the erection of that ill designed Madison Square Garden...yeah oh boy the Giants organization is very envious and jealous of you guys....

[Lughead]

LOL...wonder if Lubz heard Carton this morning on the FAN talk about the Giants organization and call us insecure and envious. If I was not in a hurry to get to my job I would have phoned in and said...."wow a whole lot of envy here....lets see three SB Championships to your one...numerous NFL Titles to your none....one of the linchpin teams to the NFL....to your well Joe Broken Down Namath and Sonny Werblin he of the destruction of the Old Penn Station and the erection of that ill designed Madison Square Garden...yeah oh boy the Giants organization is very envious and jealous of you guys....

Not to mention they are leaches. Not only that but, they will always be the red headed stepchild to the Giants

[Bigblue25]

and I don't think Fireman Ed knows who Eli Manning is, or who Mark Sanchez is for that matter

[Nas]

lame.

[Treehugger]

5. WHEN IN DOUBT, PLAY THE REDSKINS. Seriously, that stuff works. It really does.

[TaylorBanksCarsonVanPelt]

Not to mention they are leaches. Not only that but, they will always be the red headed stepchild to the Giants

 

 

LOL!!! Fucking A....

[Sephiroth]

Comic genius.

[BIGBLUE01]

That was fucking great...........

[Lubeck]

LOL...wonder if Lubz heard Carton this morning on the FAN talk about the Giants organization and call us insecure and envious. If I was not in a hurry to get to my job I would have phoned in and said...."wow a whole lot of envy here....lets see three SB Championships to your one...numerous NFL Titles to your none....one of the linchpin teams to the NFL....to your well Joe Broken Down Namath and Sonny Werblin he of the destruction of the Old Penn Station and the erection of that ill designed Madison Square Garden...yeah oh boy the Giants organization is very envious and jealous of you guys....

 

 

That was a load of baloney and reactionary rhetoric you expect from him. Lo and behold they are using the indoor facility, the request came over a month ago, and the idea that Giants fans could be jealous is rediculous for everything you said above.

[Lubeck]

Even better the reason Carton was flipping out was because of the Giants letting the Dolphins use their facility...it had nothing to do with acclimating to the weather the Dolphins owner bought the entire team tickets to the Lombardi broadway show!

[GorillaNJ]

2. GET SERIOUS. Look at our coach. Does he look like he's about to put on a wig at a press conference? He hasn't laughed since 1979, when he accidentally caught 10 minutes of "The Honeymooners" on a hotel TV. He makes Mike Shanahan look like Jerry Lewis.

 

This was my favorite!