Heathcliff Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 I came across a little self-help manual composed by the internet's most frequent customers. I thought some of you would find this excerpt interesting: For those who are unsatisfied with real life -- rejoice !! -- there is a minuscule cyber-world you can use to escape into fantasy. Not only does it offer you an escape, (thanks to the anonymity of the internet) you can basically push the reset button on reality and mould your own personality through the use of several usernames !! !! !! Obese? Shy? Stupid? Ugly? You won't have to worry about your faults among your teenage peers any longer; the internet is fresh start. Hello, my name is Nutty Sack/Dye Job/Carbo/Lockhart/Floyd The Barber. I am the brainpower behind an oh so significant group, the Fab 4 -- and when I say "significant," I mean: "I make several posts per day on an obscure message board regarding little more than a simple sports team" ... Ahem. However, it is only through this occupation of mine that I am able to mould such an interesting persona. Sportswrath is the canvas, and I am the dark paints; which brings me to introduce the four spheres of interestingness: 1) Cynicism 2) Obnoxious Arguments 3) Pretending to be "Battle-Hardened" and Bitter 4) Dark Avatars If you look carefully, all of these spheres contribute to a central motif: negativity. It is essential to keep this in mind because negative people are interesting. Even if what you say is redundant and repeated often. *** Cynicism is an inherent contributor to negativity. If you pretend to have a vendetta against specific players, coaches or front office staff, you will come across as cynical which is precisely what you're intention should be. Example: Nick thinks the PA system at Shea may wake Ernie up from his comma I suppose. Notice how "coma" is misspelled so the sentence doesn't make sense? It's okay, the basic idea is there; sense is overrated. Posting images that you don’t fully understand is also a good way depart from sense. Observe: here we have the Pied Piper, strolling the streets of Sportswrath, and following him are the likes of RELYONELI, FIRSTNTEN,420,LEMMINWINKS ect...who am i missing?? *** Sarcasm can be an effective tool to appear interesting. (Can be) Just try to steer clear of sounding lame when you use it, or else you simply come across as a train wreck making people cringe with your bland sense of humor: This just in: Jim Burt has been signed. Details to follow. Over-dramatizing events may also evoke lameness: “This is madness !!!!” *** Obnoxious arguments will irritate people, but it’s a small price to pay to grab attention. Think of it this way: getting attention is the same as being interesting. To amplify interest, simply repeat the same argument over and over amidst your several usernames every day. It’s nearly impossible to start threads along the lines of “Shockey/Plaxico Problem !!” without sounding tiresome. Don’t give up – without your obnoxious, redundant rants, you may never become interesting. *** Pretending to be battle-hardened and bitter is pivotal to determining a negative (and hence, interesting) personality. Achieving it is generally a byproduct of cynicism and obnoxiousness, but making historical pop-culture references can add some much-needed flavor to your personality: And in the astute words of that great statesman Billy Idol, with a rebel yell, Rely cried more,more,more !! Why is it everytime I see his moniker Barney Fife comes to mind?? This creates the illusion that you’re somehow knowledgeable about past themes and issues – despite the fact that you’re unable to recognize an obvious black hand reference when posting an image. This technique can be adequately backed-up by some dark avatars to complement your new look !! – *** So there you have it: the comprehensive manual for making yourself more interesting through the use of a message board. Just make sure no other board members find out about your pathetic agenda; it’s just the sort of thing that would evoke laughs at your expense, or pity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gateb Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 Don't tell me you did this by yourself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathcliff Posted April 30, 2006 Author Share Posted April 30, 2006 Don't tell me you did this by yourself Of course not. That would be stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gateb Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 Of course not. That would be stupid. Yes, it would be. Where did you find it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dye Job Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 Go back to reading about Goldilocks and the three bears Maxx Krause !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hey Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 hahahahaha that made my day. Between the draft getting fucked up and losing power and hours of h/w, that was the funniest thing i've seen all day. I want to see the respnse from the FAG4. o btw, you were all wrong about taking defense with every single pick. So far, everything you have said this off-season, regarding you're close to the team and have a voice, ahs been contradicted. signing Lavar, keeping players like Joseph, drafting that safety named Manning, taking offensive players, etc. ect. etc. You all suck, and besides you're foolishness, you admit in threads how you visit giants.com or as you like to call it 'giants.kiddie.com' Why don't you all grow some balls, faggots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathcliff Posted May 1, 2006 Author Share Posted May 1, 2006 Go back to reading about Goldilocks and the three bears Maxx Krause !! That's so weak, I actually hope it's an allusion to something else - for your sake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iceman_NYG Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 A very vivid description. Will try it out sometime when I begin to borderline on pathetic or pitiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lockhart Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 People finds us interesting becuase we always state the facts, and well ahead of the mainstream media. For months we have been idntifying Accorsi as a major weakness in the Giant system, and this weekend he proved it yet again, coupled with hsi signing of an aging Madison and the injured Demps and Arrington. Pepole are always interested in knowledge and the FAB 4 dispenses it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
relyoneli Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 People finds us interesting becuase we always state the facts, and well ahead of the mainstream media. For months we have been idntifying Accorsi as a major weakness in the Giant system, and this weekend he proved it yet again, coupled with hsi signing of an aging Madison and the injured Demps and Arrington. Pepole are always interested in knowledge and the FAB 4 dispenses it. People find the FAG 4 amusing because they are so pathetic and deluded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Floyd The Barber Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 People find the FAG 4 amusing because they are so pathetic and deluded. you tulips are obssessed with us and hang on each word we say... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
relyoneli Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 you tulips are obssessed with us and hang on each word we say... The only tulips you know about are the ones between your collective legs. You morons are pathetic losers, plain and simple. Everyone loves to laugh at your idiocy, and especially at Floyd, the FAG 4 frontman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Carbo Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Envy is an ugly emotion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motes Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 People find the FAG 4 amusing because they are so pathetic and deluded. Exactly, these fucking cum dumspters never get the better of anyone. They used to on the GMB, but here they are a joke. What they don't realize is they make everyone else realize how smart they are in comparison. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
relyoneli Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Shouldn't the name of this thread be: A FAG 4 Tutorial: How to be a Bitter, Know-Nothing, Bitter and Cynical Asshole? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Floyd The Barber Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Shouldn't the name of this thread be: A FAG 4 Tutorial: How to be a Bitter, Know-Nothing, Bitter and Cynical Asshole? no it shouldnt... we only call it how it is...for all of you happy with what we accomplished this weekend, ask yourself...do you want to be winners next year ?? take a look at this draft...this has got to be one of the worst i have ever seen... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motes Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 no it shouldnt... we only call it how it is...for all of you happy with what we accomplished this weekend, ask yourself...do you want to be winners next year ?? take a look at this draft...this has got to be one of the worst i have ever seen... Considering you're 13 and have no pubes, that comes as no surprise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
relyoneli Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 no it shouldnt... we only call it how it is...for all of you happy with what we accomplished this weekend, ask yourself...do you want to be winners next year ?? take a look at this draft...this has got to be one of the worst i have ever seen... Coming from a know-nothing like you, that statement is meaningless. You will just be proven again to be a know-nothing jackass, as you have been time and time again. Evidently, you are a MB masochist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
420 Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Envy is an ugly emotion. Carbo is an ugly screen name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firstnten Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 I came across a little self-help manual composed by the internet's most frequent customers. I thought some of you would find this excerpt interesting: Notice how "coma" is misspelled so the sentence doesn't make sense? It's okay, the basic idea is there; sense is overrated. Posting images that you don’t fully understand is also a good way depart from sense. Observe: *** Sarcasm can be an effective tool to appear interesting. (Can be) Just try to steer clear of sounding lame when you use it, or else you simply come across as a train wreck making people cringe with your bland sense of humor: Over-dramatizing events may also evoke lameness: “This is madness !!!!” *** Obnoxious arguments will irritate people, but it’s a small price to pay to grab attention. Think of it this way: getting attention is the same as being interesting. To amplify interest, simply repeat the same argument over and over amidst your several usernames every day. It’s nearly impossible to start threads along the lines of “Shockey/Plaxico Problem !!” without sounding tiresome. Don’t give up – without your obnoxious, redundant rants, you may never become interesting. *** Pretending to be battle-hardened and bitter is pivotal to determining a negative (and hence, interesting) personality. Achieving it is generally a byproduct of cynicism and obnoxiousness, but making historical pop-culture references can add some much-needed flavor to your personality: This creates the illusion that you’re somehow knowledgeable about past themes and issues – despite the fact that you’re unable to recognize an obvious black hand reference when posting an image. This technique can be adequately backed-up by some dark avatars to complement your new look !! – *** So there you have it: the comprehensive manual for making yourself more interesting through the use of a message board. Just make sure no other board members find out about your pathetic agenda; it’s just the sort of thing that would evoke laughs at your expense, or pity. They should be forced to read this every time they post... **Note: this is the 100,000 time the fab 4 has been owned *** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motes Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 I came across a little self-help manual composed by the internet's most frequent customers. I thought some of you would find this excerpt interesting: Notice how "coma" is misspelled so the sentence doesn't make sense? It's okay, the basic idea is there; sense is overrated. Posting images that you don’t fully understand is also a good way depart from sense. Observe: *** Sarcasm can be an effective tool to appear interesting. (Can be) Just try to steer clear of sounding lame when you use it, or else you simply come across as a train wreck making people cringe with your bland sense of humor: Over-dramatizing events may also evoke lameness: “This is madness !!!!” *** Obnoxious arguments will irritate people, but it’s a small price to pay to grab attention. Think of it this way: getting attention is the same as being interesting. To amplify interest, simply repeat the same argument over and over amidst your several usernames every day. It’s nearly impossible to start threads along the lines of “Shockey/Plaxico Problem !!” without sounding tiresome. Don’t give up – without your obnoxious, redundant rants, you may never become interesting. *** Pretending to be battle-hardened and bitter is pivotal to determining a negative (and hence, interesting) personality. Achieving it is generally a byproduct of cynicism and obnoxiousness, but making historical pop-culture references can add some much-needed flavor to your personality: This creates the illusion that you’re somehow knowledgeable about past themes and issues – despite the fact that you’re unable to recognize an obvious black hand reference when posting an image. This technique can be adequately backed-up by some dark avatars to complement your new look !! – *** So there you have it: the comprehensive manual for making yourself more interesting through the use of a message board. Just make sure no other board members find out about your pathetic agenda; it’s just the sort of thing that would evoke laughs at your expense, or pity. :worshippy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lockhart Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 The jealousy of the FAB 4 is apparent for all to see on this thread - very sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Go_Eli Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 The jealousy of the FAB 4 is apparent for all to see on this thread - very sad. Yes. I'm jealous that you can go through life so stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Floyd The Barber Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Yes. I'm jealous that you can go through life so stupid. rivetting... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
420 Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 rivetting... fassinating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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